‘Impatient’ Horses: Emotion, Energy & Expanding the Window of Tolerance

Understanding Impatience Through a New Lens

Most horse owners & professionals have met the ‘impatient’ horses, the one who paws at the ground, fidgets at the mounting block, or can’t seem to stand still.

It’s tempting to see this as defiance or poor manners, but impatience is often information, not insolence. It’s a window into the horse’s nervous system & emotional world.

Impatience isn’t defiance, it’s communication from the nervous system.

When we look at these behaviours through the lens of neuroscience, psychology, & learning theory, we uncover a compassionate truth: ‘impatience’ is the horse’s way of saying, ‘I’m struggling to regulate right now.’

The Neuroscience Behind the ‘Impatient’ Horse

Both horses & humans rely on the autonomic nervous system (ANS) to navigate safety & stress. When a horse feels secure, the parasympathetic branch supports calmness, digestion & social engagement, the state where cooperation & learning happens.

But when stress rises, the sympathetic branch prepares the body for fight or flight, a natural, adaptive response.

Psychiatrist Dr. Dan Siegel (1999) coined the term Window of Tolerance to describe the range within which we can process stress without losing connection or clarity. Inside this window, horses can think, learn & stay engaged. Outside it, they move into survival states:

• Hyperarousal (Fidgeting, Pawing, Bolting)

• Hypoarousal (Shut down, Freeze, Disconnection)

When we see ‘impatience’, we’re often witnessing a horse trying to discharge nervous energy, not misbehave.

 Emotion as Energy in Motion

Neuroscientist Dr. Joseph LeDoux (1996) reminds us that emotions are physiological events, waves of energy designed to prepare the body for action. I also like the notion of a wave, as waves pass.

If we think of emotion as energy in motion, behaviour starts to make sense. A horse that can’t stand still isn’t being difficult; they’re showing us that energy needs somewhere to go.

We can see their need & support it constructively. Attitude is also crucial here, I often see approaches that roughly have the tone of ‘I’ll move you until you bloody well will stand still.’ I personally prefer ‘I see you need to move let me help you.’

Emotion is simply energy that wants to & needs to move.

When we suppress that movement, through correction or restraint, the emotion doesn’t disappear & it often reappears later as tension, resistance, or explosive behaviour.

 Growing the Horse’s Window of Tolerance

Through neuroplasticity, both horses & humans can learn to tolerate & recover from appropriate stress. Each time we help a horse return to calm after mild activation, we’re literally rewiring their nervous system to handle more without tipping them into overwhelm.

Practical Example: Sage & handling her feet. This is a project we are chipping away at. When I got Sage 18 months ago you would quite literally be taking your life in your hands to handle her feet, particularly the hinds.

I broke it down into firstly just bending down & back up again merely mimicking the posture that would be required, then touching, rubbing & so on.

Now I am at the point where I can pick up all four feet, pick them out & even trim them (woo hey), but she often wants her hoof back & I give it to her, place it back down gently, give her a minute & go again. If I don’t tune into the subtle cue from her of wanting her hoof back, she will snatch it back, which could be labelled as ‘impatience’, but it’s actually a fear issue. Obviously, we aim to finish on a good note to be clear as to what the desired behaviour is.

Horses really need control of all four feet for self-preservation & she’s just checking albeit regularly if this option is still available. I give them back to her, firstly because consent is really important to me, but it also build relationship, trust & cooperation. When she knows she can have them back at any stage, the need to take them away actually dissipates.

I can’t convince Sage of my trustworthiness by firming up & holding on & not letting go until she submits (a. because I don’t like it & b. I have a bad back).

Furthermore, I don’t want to be a wolf in sheep’s clothing, I have to walk the walk even when it’s not always convenient, but on the flip side it’s marvellous when in a session she doesn’t snatch or want to stomp her hoof down, for me it’s just the best feeling.

Consent & Connection

True patience arises not from pressure but from safety & consent. Horses learn best when they feel seen & have agency.

Consent in training doesn’t mean letting the horse do whatever they like; it means listening when they say, ‘Not yet.’ When addressing any behavioural or training challenge, it’s important to deconstruct the task into small, manageable components & work on each element separately, a process known as shaping. Once each piece is understood, the components can then be gradually integrated back together to form the complete behaviour.

Offering choice, a pause, a step away, or time to breathe, activates the parts of the brain associated with safety & social bonding. Over time, horses that feel heard become more curious, cooperative & emotionally balanced.

From Control to Co-Regulation

Helping an impatient horse isn’t about enforcing stillness. It’s about co-regulation, using our own calm nervous system to foster a learning environment that supports curiosity & allows feedback.

Horses are profoundly attuned to our breath, posture & emotional tone. When we soften our bodies & slow our breathing, we signal safety. Our nervous systems can begin to synchronise, a process known as neurobiological attunement.

Our own regulation sets the tone for the interaction, when we’re calm & centred, the horse can mirror that state & begin to self-regulate.

Patience, then, isn’t something we demand, it’s something we model.

The Takeaway

Impatience is not a flaw; it’s feedback.It’s emotion, energy in motion asking for direction, not domination.

When we meet that energy with understanding, movement & compassion, we help our horses grow their capacity for calm while deepening the communication between us. This is where true partnership begins in the shared language of regulation, safety & trust.

Let me know your thoughts in the comments.

References

• LeDoux, J. (1996). The Emotional Brain: The Mysterious Underpinnings of Emotional Life. Simon & Schuster.

• Siegel, D. J. (1999). The Developing Mind: How Relationships and the Brain Interact to Shape Who We Are. Guilford Press.